Smile
by ForestGlenny
Summary: Remus does some thinking about smiles. He finally gets some and Sirius knows he's home. Rated T for suggested SR relationship.
1. part the first

****

Smile

Forest Glenny 

PG 13 for some hints of things at the end

Disclaimer: Harry Potter. No own. No money. No sue.

I.

Sometimes it's very funny how much can be conveyed through one little lifting of the lips. Smiles are many fold and so so different, like sunny snowflakes.

The good morning smile, when he's still sleepy and I have only just come from dreams not half so sweet as reality. A timid glimpse of perfect white against morning-dry sin-red lips that makes my sleepy mind curl its toes because of the warmth that pervades it.

The join me in the shower? tease, so eyebrow-wiggling and tempting, no more awake but somehow more consciously made. And I give one of my own - no thanks, love to, but have to make breakfast - soft, apologetic, but flirty at the same time. And then the that's all right rueful grin, barely any tooth showing, but an apathetic peak in the brow.

Later, the thank you for porridge smile, teeth still egg-and-toast stained as he drains his tea mug and pecks me on the cheek before going to brush. I throw the last documents in my briefcase and am off to work myself. A smile, good-bye until later, follows me down the street.

At our traditional lunch meeting in front of Florean's a smile of welcome and love and happiness at seeing me again, though it hasn't been so very long. The smile reaches his eyes and pulls me into its embrace. We eat and the smile is now this is so fun just because I'm with you. 

Off to work again with another I love you a smile cheer with a soupçon of bitterness at leaving. I grin at a co-worker of mine and no one seems to take note.

Finally home again and glad of it. The smile is teasing, cajoling me into his lap on the sofa. Kiss away the stress and the wrinkles and then a cuddling soft love upturn of the lips.

We cook together and bump together so many times that I am getting rather hot and bothered and I think he is too. We rush through dinner with barely time for a thank you smile and then there it is! If my blood wasn't pounding before, it is now, because his mischievous grin is god I want you and I'm going to get you somehow. He is lust filled lovely passion and I am willing to be broken if it is him who is there.

And then later still, as the sweet old clock chimes eleven in the hall and we are finally sated

"Love you Moonshine"

and a kiss of a smile and I am asleep.

fin

7 May 03

I have realized that I am just a grammar error on wheels. Please review? More to come.


	2. part the second

****

Smile

Forest Glenny

PG 13 for theme

Disclaimer: No own. No money. No sue.

Notes: In this chapter, it earns its angst classification. I was amused that no one caught that ^^. Thank you to all my lovely reviewers, of course. I dedicate this to you and my friend, the Vampire Scourge, since it's her birthday.

II.

So what was different that day? Was his good morning a little sleepier than usual? If it was I simply attributed the difference to how late we had stayed up the night before, watching some movie. He offered to make breakfast and I smiled and don't remember if he replied.

And then we were both somehow late for work and had time only for a slight brush of pallid just washed lips before we were running in opposite directions, our so-long grins aimed away from each other.

We didn't meet for luncheon, breaking years' worth of tradition in one swift minute. He'd said he had a lunch meeting. I ate lonely in front of dear old Florean's and he noticed with an ice cream and a warm smile.

I trudged back to the office and saw Them on my way to the Ministry. They smiled and waved and I stopped to chat. Maybe they could come to dinner? It had been awhile, after all. Sure. And we'll invite Wormtail, too. A parting, see-ya-later smile.

I walk inside and go through the motions but my heart isn't in it. I limp home, maimed by exhaustion, and when he lures me nearer with the welcome home grin maybe this time it's a bit more desperate, a bit more I know what's going to happen and I never want it to occur. It shouldn't come to pass because I'll never see you smile again.

We never do eat dinner because suddenly Dumbledore is here and he says They're gone. Voldemort found them and I am stunned. I can't breathe can't move can't think. Is this what my life will now be like? I couldn't even remember my name all I saw was Their faces. Who was the secret keeper? Oh why can't my addled grief stricken moon confused brain recall?

He turns to me in his star light dark night splendor. His smile is so sad and comforting and I fold myself into his arms and begin to cry.

And then he kisses me deep and passionate and I don't want him to leave because it feels like goodbye for some strange reason. Smile good-bye I'll be back. I collapse on the floor. Now everyone is gone.

Later, at the trials, I am dressed in deepest mourning when he is dragged in in chains. And though we lovers are now enemies! must hate him, his eyes find mine, piercingly across the crowded room, and he gives me a hard, cold smile.

Fin

8 May 03

Please review? It feeds my little Remus muse. The next chapter will be a bit happier.


	3. part the third

****

Smile

Forest Glenny

PG 13

Disclaimer: I am Captain Obvious, and sadly, I don't own him either.

Notes: This chappie is a little longer. I'm sorry that the theme is a little spotty, but this one sort of talks about frowning a lot. ^.^;; I am unable to keep a theme. Thank you to my reviewers. I hope the pairing becomes incredibly obvious in this chapter.

III.

I can't believe that he's here. I can't possibly believe that he's here and breathing and ohmygod my brain refuses to operate.

I am running from my office and pounding down the stairs the whole castle must now be awake. And Harry - oh god he's in danger.

Out across the cloudy star spangled lawn and down past the greenhouses and now for the willow. I smile sardonically, so many memories of one stupid tree, whipping back and forth and I jab at the knot with a long branch. Duck through the branches as it stands patiently, admitting me to two of my darkest secrets.

He's innocent! screams my mind as I run crouched through the tunnel but I beat it back down, into submission. Frowning, there is no time to deal with that now. Hm.. something I've forgotten? What could it be?

Then I am down down up up up into the room dusty of my memories, and a smooth shiny stripe leads me straight to him - them, them I insist because his smiles are dancing before me again, in all their variagated splendor.

Up here shouts a voice and I rush up stairs creaky from age. And when I dare look around this curtained bedroom what first I notice is his eyes. I'm not even looking at him but I can feel those twin midnight pools boring into me. It's the I'm undressing you with my eyes smile but now it's more tired sad and I can't watch to see if it will truly reach his mouth.

Then we are all talking and Harry and his friends look a little put out, a little suspicions confirmed, and somethings are said that I can't really recall. But then I'm deep in his eyes an accident an accident I _swear_ but don't want to look away. This is home and I say something and then he is in my arms, insubstansial and skin almost gossamer from abuse and neglect. Even if no human has accepted it I am not all human and my wolf heart has and I know he is innocent, I know he is still my own.

And more indignance and indignity follows and I know now that this is indeed Their son. Severus even cannot disturb the flow of these events. I hide a grin that is fully played on my love's face when the slimeball is knocked unconcious by a simple dueling trick gone awry.

So so hard to take isn't it, that rat really is Peter, and my hand is stayed, I will not become a murderer because Harry knows that he is not worth it. But all those memories... I will go insane if I survive this.

And then finally an apology is granted and this little boy can't possibly know how much one slight nod can mean to a too young to be old convict and a too old to be young outcast. When he thinks they aren't looking he turns his brilliant smile on me, so god I'm happy and I can't believe I'm here, now, allowed to do this. I smile back, and maybe it reminisces of those sweet mornings in London, when I am barely awakened from sweet dreams to a saccharine reality.

He wants to touch me again I can tell but he knows he mustn't, not here anyway. But the few already traded- the embrace, his fingers brushing my robes so lightly am I welcome here? as he freed me from Severus' bonds. And we brush again, positively beam but as dimly as we can, as we prepare to leave this house haunted by nothing but too many memories.

Now I am out in front and the traitor who destroyed my whole life and his and theirs... he is chained to my leg , as I was chained to his memory mere hours ago. And my mate for he truly is and ever will be is in back, his happy chatter once again filling my ears.

We can't touch this far apart but his eyes on me... he's undressing me again, running his hands over much abused skin, wondering what new scars he'll find there. Maybe Dumbledore will let him stay with me tonight? He's known about us longer than I- 

I remember now, what I forgot. Oh lord. Not now... please, not when every-

But too late...

human... blood beating.... run! forest! you are free and your mate captive mate is close at hand.

plunge off into the forest, wrestled there by fur like darkest shadows and bones shaped in a familliar form. muzzle against muzzle, wolf smile kiss, claim him again! beating blood. make him say you're his and he's yours, once again.

blood! blood you taste him on you and this is holy, sacred, a rite reserved for the chosen few.

then fear, fear drives you to run even away from this sacred being. a scream but you know not to go that way.

but you want him oh! cry because I know we won't have him in the morning. His smile will be gone from my power and I can barely cry.

fin.

9 May 03

typed 14 May 03

edited 15 May 03

Dang! That part where the wolf is talking was so hard to write, because I'm such a caps freak. But in my mind, the wolf always talks in all lower case letters. Review please! I have such nice and helpful reviewers...


	4. part the fourth

****

Smile

Forest Glenny

still only PG 13!

disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, if I owned this story, I'd make more money than you!

notes: Thanks as always to my wonderful reviewers! You make me feel incredibly loved. This chapter is the infamous 'Lie low at Lupin's' chapter. Anywhoo, this is dedicated to you, my readership. If you like this, go read Strawberry Kisses and Dotted Line. I've been told they're worth the click. 

IV. (hands)

I look out across patchwork fields of green and brown and lowing cows and bleating sheep. Peace and quiet pervades the country air and is slowly invading my little house through the wide open door. Tea steam fills my expectant eyes as I take a quick sip, watching the large yet too small shadow move up the dirt path to my abode.

He must feel my gaze because the dog looks up and my breath catches in my throat as he turns into the man I know and love and still want. Black hair falls long into dulled reflective eyes and his crouching figure slowly straightens up. So sad does he look that I am concerned and then almost blinded when it changes into a brilliant, warm, embracing mischievous grin. Not knowing what I am doing now I run towards him with only the thought of being held like I haven't been for so very too long. We crash into each other and it's all I can do to keep from kissing him and touching him and telling him I love you ten thousand times over.

But he seems to have other ideas and his smiling lips are brushing mine, electric perfection and then covering, devouring so perfectly wonderful and oh god yummy despite bad breath and joy tears running down my cheeks.

Finally unfortunately and eventually we must break apart and hand in hand comfort intimate we walk inside. He doesn't want to say anything yet nor do I, so he paints a beautiful languid loving smile across his beautiful face, and I easily respond. This is just so right to be walking across the threshold of a new home to a new life with him. Even if this is only for a little while, my mind reminds me.

How long do you stay here?

A while. That's what Dumbledore said.

You're welcome to stay here as long as you like. Would you like a shower while I make dinner?

You don't have to make dinner all by yourself! I'll help!

No, you've had a long journey and need to relax.

A sigh, defeated, and a small yet dancing grin, you've never outgrown your mothering instinct, have you Remmie? But I need the solace and calm of the kitchen to sort out my feelings, figure out where this will go, because I get so irrational when he's this near to me, his skin calling to mine, his hands wanting to touch every inch of me.

Beef hearty veggies all go into a stew set on the back burner of a little muggle stove, bubbling, happy that it will serve my purpose. Tea water on to boil, bread and bowls float to the table, set themselves on the soft worn table cloth.

I am startled from my kitchen induced reveries of happy faces and happy days when warm soap-smelling arms twine around me, a cautiously comforting comfort-seeking touch. He pulls me back, tightly close against his chest and I feel the rumbling of the content grin on his face. I'm clean, he smiles against my hair. We both smell of strawberry shampoo and the almost familiar scent of old friends slowly turning old.

And then, almost as if reading my mind he whispers We aren't too old, are we Moony?

I look at my beautiful Paddy's hands, pressed lightly against my abdomen and then I pick one up, marveling at how surprisingly smooth and dark the palms are. His fingers are callused and pink like a favorite ancient red shirt, its dye slowly washed into watery oblivion. Ivory palm against wood-pink-beautiful now, mesh the fingers together, my mind gets lost in a forest of light and shadow, and I have to struggle to remember his question.

We aren't too old, I mumble with a nervous twitch grin and then pull away to pull the stew off the burner. But I am too hungry.

He laughs and agrees and we sit, grinning fools, at a cozy home-again dinner.

fin.

written 12 May 03

typed/edited 18 May 03

Erg... well it didn't make me feel any better about my flute recital ^.^; Anyway, please review! If you liked it, it's the least you can do to thank me! Thank you for reading!


	5. part the fifth

****

Smile

Forest Glenny

PG 13

Disclaimer: I don't own. You don't sue. We're all happy.

Notes: This is the last chapter, at least for now. Once the fifth book comes out, there might be another one- we'll see. Anyway, this takes place after Sirius' name is (hypothetically) cleared. Thank you all for reading!

V.

I can't stop the happiness from decorating my face with its gaudy colors. I am grinning madly I'm sure as he looks at me as if in a trance can't believe it's you you've come home. Set down the suitcase just outside the door and then beckon, come here. I step out onto the porch and he lifts me up still and ever effortless and swings me giddily around. I laugh loud and crinkly like the crows feet near dear old grandmothers' eyes and when he refuses to set me down I reach for his suitcase with a Leviosa spell.

Like so he carries us over the threshold and this is our home. His home. My home. And Harry, mustn't forget him, he's coming to live with us. Dear lord! I'm going to have a family! Our home, once again. The Marauders are slowly coming home.

Put me down oh so gently on my feet at the bottom of our stairs and then hand-holding I give him the grand tour of the tiny house. Kitchen. Bathroom. Sitting room. Closet. And our bedroom. Our bed. Our bed. This bed...

There is no allowance for me to finish the thought. Lips soft as rose petals but so much sweeter smile nibble lick admittance please? against mine, equally willing to participate but thoroughly repressed by the bonds of love. We stay almost still except to move willing arms around each other and steadily discover once more how our scents and tastes mingle together to form something more pure and complete than either alone could ever be. I grin dreamily so relaxed into the kiss. A smirk, he kisses against my tongue and I gasp into his mouth when fingers penetrate a shirt hem. Do you want this? they ask. Yes more than anything, I try to reply, reaching for pesky buttons on his woolly itchy Northerner's sweater. 

Now he is still smiling as he bite licks a trail down my neck and under an unbuttoned collar and across my stomach where I giggle uncontrollably ticklish nervous as the not-so-little schoolboy was the first time we tried this. Is this really okay? he asks softly smiling as he plucks at the button holding my trousers up.

I nod, yes, yes of course. Want your skin on me, your love surrounding me. I want to reek of you tomorrow morning. He pulls me down to the bed.

Sun shines brightly in my blinking awake eyes. I am sated and full again and his distinct perfume covers me, penetrates every pore. I turn over and he is smiling, soft and sleepy, good morning love. The white is now not so bleached perfect and his lips are chronically bitten and chapped, just as the eyes are slightly dull and I'll have to convince him to get glasses soon enough. And of course the hair is shaggy and long and not quite as night-pitch as it once was, because of the silver gray grain that graces it.

But still, I know this face. I know that it is the closest thing to perfect I have ever witnessed, because, like some dark phoenix, he has died of grief and risen again, realizing his fault and accepting it and not moving on but somehow continuing anyway. His poor beloved perfect face. How I have missed that face...

I curl my toes in sleepy glee, happy that all it takes is this smile.

fin.

written 12 may 03

typed 24 may 03

edited 24 may 03

Please review? Thank you all for reading. I hope it ended satisfactorily.


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